Beautiful Hell: A Contemporary High School Bully Romance Read online

  “I have nothing to regret, Giselle. You, on the other hand… There will come a day when you will look back, and you’ll realize you would’ve caught a lot more flies with honey,” I reply. “Now, get the fuck off my property, and get the fuck out of my life.”

  She gasps, and the sound of it is like music to my ears.

  19

  Kira

  Fortunately, the principal liked my offer to take some anger management classes, courtesy of Trinity High’s in-house psychologist. Given that I’m eighteen and that my dad can be an absolute asshole, I was able to resolve my side of the Giselle debacle without having to bring in a parent.

  Plus, the fact that she set my hair on fire means Giselle risks expulsion from school. I doubt she’s fully aware of the repercussion, but after what she did to me… I don’t feel guilty at all. In fact, I look forward to watching her leave.

  I’m outside Elias’s property now, walking past the gates. I should know better than to show up here again. Yet, here I am – restless and making stupid decisions. At least I’ve managed to stay off the Oxy, so there’s that. The sad part, however, is that I crave the pills way too much and despite the fact that I might be able to push them to the side for a while, I’m not certain I’ll be strong enough to push them away forever. I’ve never understood addiction until now. Point of the matter is, it sounds so damn easy.

  You’re hurting yourself.

  You’re hurting your family.

  They’re JUST pills.

  With the flick of a wrist, you should be able to stop.

  I know now that that’s far from the truth.

  I’m here now, so maybe this will pull me back to the surface—admitting to one person that I have a problem. Walking up the pebbled alleyway, I see a familiar pair of figures standing in the doorway of Elias’s mansion. My heart struggles, as anxiousness begins to viciously claw at my stomach. “Giselle,” I mumble, breaking into a cold sweat.

  What the hell is she doing here? Right, they’re supposed to be an item. I’m already considering the option of turning back and leaving before anyone sees me, but Giselle’s scream pins me down.

  “You’ll pay for this! You son of a bitch!”

  He says something, but calmly, and I’m too far away to understand. I can see he’s holding her wrist, and that she’s struggling. Suddenly, a hot wave of mindless hope comes over me, and I’m not sure what to make of this entire scene.

  Giselle’s car is at the bottom of the mansion’s front steps. A cherry red sports ride, the driver’s door wide open. She pulls herself away from him, while I slide over to the left, finding shaded refuge under one of the magnolia trees. The darkness hugs me, and I feel safe. Out of sight.

  She glides down the steps and gets into her car. The engine roars to life, and she jets out like her life depends on it. I catch a fleeting glimpse of her screaming behind the wheel, the tires screeching hysterically as she flies past the gates.

  Silence settles over the world, and I find myself unable to move.

  Looking ahead, I see Elias, still in the doorway. I have a feeling he can see me, and my heart goes on a mad race. All my fears come back, my blood curdling as I wonder about the many ways in which this could go wrong.

  What was I thinking, coming here? This is obviously the worst possible time. He’s just had an argument with his girlfriend, whom just so happens to be the one creature I possibly hate more than I hate my father.

  I head back to the gates, light on my rushing feet. This was a bad idea.

  “Kira.”

  His voice stuns me. I freeze. Out here, the lights from the house have very little reach. I’m surprised he even saw me. I can’t bring myself to turn around, though and as it turns out, I don’t have to. The second time Elias speaks, he’s right behind me.

  “What are you doing here?” he asks.

  Closing my eyes for a moment, I try to find an answer that doesn’t make me sound like an idiot. Clearing my throat, I finally find the strength to face him. “I was going to say thanks for earlier this morning, but… it’s obviously a bad time,” I manage, offering a faint smile.

  The worst part of all this is that Elias looks better than ever. The jeans hug his muscular thigs, and his simple, white shirt is just the perfect size, offering hints of taut abs and rippling pectorals. I’ve felt those muscles beneath my fingertips and just the thought of touching them again makes my mouth run dry. My mind wanders back to our moment in the grand salon. I’m fucking hopeless, and I need to find my way out of here before I make a fool of myself.

  “It’s never a bad time to say thank you,” Elias replies, hands politely set behind his back.

  He’s so close and so much taller than me. I have to tilt my head back in order to look him in the eyes. Big mistake. I am quickly folded within the deep green layers of his gaze, my breath cut short as I remember the taste of him. The hunger with which we nearly devoured one another. The hate with which we always ruin each other.

  “I was way too angry this morning to fully process everything you said,” I sigh. “About breaking the habit…”

  He nods slowly. “Would you like a drink? I think there’s a lot we have to talk about.”

  “I’m inclined to agree,” I say, not knowing where that came from. I was on my way out, not in! Damn this heart of mine… I’m digging myself into a deeper hole, and I’m about to smile while I’m doing it.

  I follow him inside. The house seems quiet. There’s only a soft jazz melody playing in the background. Most of the open spaces around the grand salon are dark, and I can see the back garden lights twinkling through some of the kitchen windows, at the end of the sprawling hallway.

  “Any staff here at night?” I ask, as he motions for me to sit. I shake my head. “I’ll stand for now, thanks.”

  “Suit yourself,” he replies, pouring me a stiff double. “Ice?”

  “Yes, please.”

  He drops a couple of cubes in the amber liquid, then hands me the glass. Our fingers touch for the briefest of moments, and the entire atmosphere is suddenly electrified. Tiny shockwaves travel down my spine, and I am startled by the mere effect of his skin on mine. It’s preposterous. And it’s been going on for a very long time, without either of us even realizing it.

  “I don’t like staff around at night. The property is secured, and I enjoy the silence of an empty house,” Elias says. He looks at me, warmth emanating from his eyes. “How are you feeling?”

  “Better, sort of,” I reply. “I got off easy after this morning.”

  “Let me guess. Anger management classes?”

  I nod, and he laughs. The sound coming out of his throat is gruff and relaxed. It’s incredibly sexy. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Elias laugh like this before. Maybe this is the very first time I’m seeing a more… honest version of him. We’ve spent so many years taking shots at each other, we’ve both built our defenses quite strong.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt anything,” I say, addressing the fact that Giselle was here only moments ago.

  “You didn’t. Giselle was on her way out,” Elias says. “We’re not exactly on speaking terms at the moment,” he adds and shrugs, like he’s not very bothered by that fact.

  “Oh.”

  I’m not sure what part of his statement to address first, so I decide to take a long sip from my drink, instead. The whiskey burns, but as the heat unfurls inside my stomach, I feel the edges smoothen around me. My muscles begin to relax, and the dull ache in my ankle subsides, ever so slowly.

  Elias’s attention is fixed on me, and I feel like an ant under a magnifying glass. The sun is about to come through and burn me to a crisp—that’s what Elias’s persistent stare feels like, sometimes.

  “I didn’t do it for her, if that’s what you’re wondering,” Elias says, his voice low, making my skin tingle. There is something changing between us. It’s been shifting for a while now, but I can sense the details on a deeper level. We’re not the same Kira and Elias we
were a year ago. Or five years ago. Or ten, when we first met in the Park, and our fathers made it clear that we were to spend the rest of our lives hating one another.

  “Oh?” That’s all I’m able to respond with, heat continuously expanding through my core. He stands a few feet away, but I can almost hear his heart beating. Or maybe it’s just mine, drumming in my ears.

  He takes a step forward, and I stop functioning altogether. “I did it for you, Kira.”

  “For me?”

  “I am not your enemy. And you’re not my enemy. You’ve been through enough, Kira. You didn’t deserve to lose your shot at a higher education because of the tantrums of one vapid, talentless bimbo,” Elias says, and I snort a chuckle.

  Humor flickers in his eyes as he gets closer. The air between us thickens, and I know… I can feel the electricity crackling. I know… another step, and we will both surrender. It’s written all over his face, and it’s exactly how I’m feeling.

  “Well, thank you, Elias,” I reply, my voice trembling. “And thank you for opening up about your own… you know, struggles…”

  “You mean my pill addiction?” he asks, and I nod slowly. “I put it behind me a long time ago. Shortly after I buried my father, to be specific. I had Sheldon, one of my associates, close, though. I had someone to pull me up and slap me around… remind me of what I was losing in my desperate quest for numbness.”

  “My doctor says there’s nothing wrong with my ankle. It’s fully healed, and yet the jabs of pain I get are so intense… so fucking mind-numbing… I can’t get by without the pills,” I murmur, my gaze dropping, overcome with shame and sadness. Tears prick my eyes, but it feels so good to say this aloud.

  “It’s not the ankle,” Elias says, closing the distance between us. He grips my chin, raising my head so he can look at me. “It’s up here.” He gently presses his index finger against my temple. “Believe it or not, it’s just your brain. It’s sabotaging you, Kira. It’s addicted to the Oxy, but it has no true symptoms to rely on, so it hijacks your nervous system, making you feel pain that isn’t really there.”

  The way he describes it makes perfect sense. I’ve thought about it, too, more than once, but the pain always feels so real, it’s nearly impossible to dispute.

  “When’s the last time you took a pill?” he asks, unwilling to look away from me.

  My knees are weak. But I dare not answer. A strange longing worms its way through my chest, and I’m too busy trying to control my reaction to this closeness. Arousal isn’t far behind. His fingertip travels slowly down the side of my face, following the line of my jaw, and I clench, deep down. This is a surefire way to descend into some kind of delicious madness I’ve only ever experienced with him.

  “This is a no judgment zone, Kira,” Elias says. “Be honest with me.”

  “Not since before I got to school, today…”

  “So, you’ve got… what, maybe twelve hours since the last fix?” he replies, and I nod slowly. A shadow of a smile dances across his face. “The first twenty-four hours are critical. The following forty-eight are insanely difficult. It’s a process, but I can help you through it, if you’ll let me.”

  There’s no point in fighting this any longer. Look where my stupid pride has gotten me.

  “I shouldn’t trust you,” I say, almost breathless.

  “You also can’t trust yourself right now,” he counters and he’s not wrong. The question is, what do I care more about? My body or my mind? The pills are fucking with my body. Elias is fucking with my mind.

  He takes a deep breath and moves back. I am suddenly cold, his absence already affecting me. I take another sip from my whiskey, hoping to get some warmth back into my body.

  “Would it be too much to ask if we can just start the hell over?” He laughs a little. It’s a nervous laugh, and I like the fact that just like me, he’s not one hundred percent comfortable right now. “Whatever issues our families have had. Whatever issues the two of us have had, on account of our families… all of that goes into the trash.”

  For the first time in what feels like forever, I’m perfectly fine with every piece of everything he says.

  “I never wanted this.” Unintentionally, my voice is a little above a whisper.

  He stills, watching me, the look in his eyes, one I don’t dare to decipher. The last time he looked at me like this, we were sixteen years old and I was stupid enough to allow him to get close enough to kiss me. Stupid enough not to realize that he wasn’t just heated after the fight we had, but that he was carrying out his revenge. Needless to say, things didn’t end well back then. I walked away with my white pants smeared with ketchup. And Elias walked away with a smile from ear to ear. The last time we kissed, things didn’t exactly end much differently. Sure, he might not have smeared ketchup all over me, but he did kick me the hell out of his house.

  “Kira…” he whispers, and I hate that the tone of his voice and the way my name dances across his lips allow my walls to crumble at my feet. “A fresh start?”

  I nod, because a fresh start is exactly what I would like right now. However, there’s still an elephant in the air that none of us are addressing. A part of Elias extending an olive branch might be the fact that he and my father seem to be getting along. That doesn’t sit well with me. Not because I’m pissed that my dad forgot about dinner. But because no matter how wide my father smiles at Elias, the sinister part of him will never allow his hatred for the Dresslers to be erased. Not completely. And not even a little bit.

  “I never wanted to hate you,” I tell him. “I never wanted you to hate me.” I can feel tears coming and I’m not really sure what I’m crying about. The end to this era of hatred? The fact that I’ve just confessed to someone that I need help? That I’m not okay? That I’m a fucking addict? Or maybe a combination of everything, including the uncertainty of my future and the probability that dance might not fit into that future.

  “I know you didn’t,” Elias says. There’s no space between us now as he pulls me against his chest. It’s so firm that it’s almost uncomfortable. Something akin to cuddle with a rock, or a chunk of steel. “But we’re okay now. Everything’s going to be okay now. Your dad and I-“

  The mention of my father manages to bring all my tears to a halt. “You can’t trust him,” I say and my voice has never been less shaky.

  “Kira…” Elias starts, but I press a finger against his lips.

  “You have to be careful, Elias. Whatever my dad is planning with this joint charity idea of his… don’t trust him. You can’t trust him. Maybe don’t do the event at all…”

  “Kira.” He runs his hand through my hair, frowning as he reaches the back. I’ve already fixed Giselle’s handywork at the salon. My head feels light. “Kira, I know,” he says, his gaze darkening as it settles on my lips again. “But don’t worry about me and your dad, okay? This game he’s playing, I’ve been playing it long before I even knew I was a player.”

  I stare into his eyes, falling and falling, but uncertain of what exactly I’m falling for. His lies. His truths. His game.

  “Are you with me, Kira?”

  “I am… I’m with you…” I whisper the words, uncertain of just how much I trust them.

  He takes my face between his palms and holds me like that for a moment, just the way he did back at the hospital. “It won’t be easy,” he tells me. “You might even hate me for a while.” Lowering his head, he brushes the tip of his nose against mine, and my soul begins to expand, close to exploding like a newborn star.

  “I’ve hated you for long enough,” I say and I mean it. Right now, standing here, with no more than a whisper of space between us, I feel lighter than I’ve felt in a very long time.

  Wrapping my arms around his narrow waist, I lean into him. My breasts are pressed against his torso. The bulge in his jeans fits neatly below my womb. He’s as hard as a rock, and I’m shocked, but only for a moment. The truth is, the thought alone of him touching me the way he did the las
t time is enough to send my senses into a frenzy.

  The temperature is rising so fast, I’m seeing white for a split-second. His hands snake around my body as he pulls me closer—so close, that our bodies merge. His embrace is firm, possessive, and yet gentle… inviting, even.

  “How far do we take this?” Elias whispers against the top of my head.

  “I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “Just don’t break me, okay? I’m enough of a mess, already,” I reply, trying to regain some of my frazzled senses.

  “You’re tougher than you think you are,” Elias says, his lips moving over mine with each word. Something snaps. Whatever barrier we had between us… it’s gone.

  He tightens his grip, fingers digging into my hips. I kiss him, and he kisses me back twice as hard. Despite my predisposition to take control, I allow him to take over. Within minutes, we’re devouring each other again, his tongue lavishly making love to mine. I can feel the past burning up in flames, flakes of ashes dancing around us as we lose ourselves into one another.

  My pants fly off. His shirt is next. I settle my palms on his chest, squeezing and reveling in the feel of him, naked under my fingertips. He grunts softly as he deepens the kiss and makes my top disappear.

  “This has been a long time coming,” he says, between rushed breaths.

  His hands come up, working on the front clasp of my bra. We kiss and lick each other’s lips, my fingers fumbling with the buttons of his jeans. He bumps into me, and I feel him so hard against me. I squirm as he removes the cups and pulls the entire bra off by its straps. My panties are soaked already, but we’re not there yet.

  “Fuck, you are gorgeous…” Elias whispers, hot coals burning in his eyes as he takes all of me in. He touches my breasts, fingers first drawing invisible circles, outlining the curves with lazy moves. But then he pinches my nipples, and I moan softly, pushing myself into him.

  I dip my fingers between his jeans and his hips, digging deeper until I get past his boxers and find the most generously-sized cock, marble-stiff and pulsating, burning to enter me. It’s enough to make me come undone, as I leave the last of my fears behind.